Every week I see posts on Instagram and other social media platforms that follow the a similar theme “I miss how this used to be. The algorithm has ruined everything. I don’t know if I even want to keep going.”
Here’s some tough love. Nine times out of ten, it’s not actually about the algorithm or that the social media platform has made changes.
What people really mean when they post these frustrated updates is: “I don’t feel seen. People aren’t reacting to my business/work the way I hoped they would. It hurts.”
And you know what? That’s completely human. We pour time, energy, and heart into our posts, and when they don’t land, it feels like rejection. Social media has trained us to equate engagement with value, so when the likes disappear, we spiral.
Why It Cuts So Deep
We’re wired for connection and validation. Every like gives us a little dopamine hit, and when those dry up, our brain interprets it as social exclusion. Your rational mind knows a post flopping doesn’t mean anything deep, but your lizard brain screams “They don’t care about me anymore!”
Blaming the algorithm feels safer than sitting with that uncomfortable truth.
It could be though you’re not just frustrated with the algorithm—you’re questioning the entire platform. And that’s when you need to ask yourself the most important question:
Why am I even here?
The “Should” Trap That’s Killing Your Joy
Too many creators and business owners end up on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook because they feel obligated…
- “Everyone says you have to be on Instagram”
- “My competitors are all on TikTok”
- “If I don’t post, people will forget me”
That external pressure kills joy faster than any algorithm change ever could. You end up resenting the social media platform, not because it’s inherently bad, but because you never really chose to be there in the first place.
Instead of spiraling over engagement rates, zoom out and ask yourself:
- Am I posting here because I want to, or because I feel I should?
- Are my people actually here, or am I shouting into the wrong room?
- If there was no pressure, would I still choose this platform?
The No-Bullshit Truth About Algorithms and Social Media
Let’s be clear about a few things.
- Algorithms do change, but they aren’t personally plotting against you
- Taking social media too seriously is the fastest way to make it miserable
- Chasing what you think the platform wants creates bland, joyless content
- Being on the wrong platform in the first place guarantees frustration
A Better Way Forward
Stop trying to please Instagram (or TikTok, or whatever platform is stressing you out this week). The platform doesn’t care about you—your people do.
Here’s what actually works:
Post what you want to share. Not what you think will hack the system, but what genuinely excites or matters to you.
Think about humans, not algorithms. Write like you’re talking to one specific person who gets you, not performing for “an audience.”
Have some actual fun. If posting feels like a chore, you’re doing it wrong. Full stop.
Choose your platforms intentionally. Be where your people hang out, not where you feel pressured to perform.
The creators and businesses that cut through the noise aren’t the ones studying algorithms like sacred texts. They’re the ones showing up authentically, in the right places, letting their people connect with who they really are.
Why I Don’t Stress About the Numbers (And You Don’t Have to Either)
Here’s my confession, I genuinely don’t care about likes, follows, or whether the algorithm “likes” my content. Not because I’m some zen master, (ok maybe I am) but because I know exactly why I’m on each platform and none of them are carrying my business. Most of my work comes from word of mouth and referrals. So for example, I’m on LinkedIn because I enjoy professional conversations and sharing industry insights. I’m here on my blog because it’s my digital home where I can dive deep into topics that matter to solo/small business owners.
Notice what’s missing from that list? “To get more followers.” “To go viral.” “To make my business successful.”
Now, if your business does depend on social media for leads and sales, that’s a different conversation entirely. In that case, you absolutely should be analysing your numbers, understanding what content converts, and treating it like the business tool it is. (I’ve written about that here if that’s where you’re at.)
Here’s what I see happening a lot people treat social media like it should be their primary business driver when it isn’t, or they approach it casually when their business actually depends on it. Both approaches lead to frustration.
When social media is supporting your work rather than being your work, everything changes. A post that gets three likes isn’t a failure, it’s just a post that reached three people. Maybe one of them needed to hear exactly what you shared!
When you’re clear on your “why” and you’ve built a business that doesn’t live or die social media metrics, you get to show up as yourself. You post what genuinely interests you. You engage in conversations you actually want to have. You stop performing and start connecting.
The beautiful irony is when you stop desperately chasing engagement, you often get more genuine engagement because people can sense authenticity.
The Big Picture Social Media Reality Check
Social media is just one way to get your work in front of people. It’s not the center of the universe, and it won’t make or break your career or business.
Before you blame the algorithm for everything, ask yourself:
- Am I upset about the platform, or disappointed that people didn’t respond how I wanted?
- Do I actually want to be here?
- Is this where my people are, or would I reach them better somewhere else?
That shift in thinking moves you out of victim mode and back into control. From there, you can choose to stop doom-scrolling, stop performing, and start posting like a real human again.
Your Social Sanity Checklist
I posted about social media and stress here. (yep I am determined to show stressing over social media isn’t necessary)
When you catch yourself spiraling over likes, comments, or reach, run through this:
✓ Am I posting what I actually want to share? Or performing for the algorithm?
✓ Who is this for? Picture one person you’d love to connect with, not “the masses”
✓ Would I still post this if no one liked it? If yes, you’re on the right track
✓ Did I have fun making it? If no, why bother?
✓ Is social media running my business or supporting it? There’s a big difference
✓ Are my people actually on this platform? If not, why force it?
✓ Am I putting too much weight on strangers’ reactions? A like is not a measure of your worth
✓ Do I need a break? Sometimes the healthiest thing you can post is nothing at all
The Real Win
The goal isn’t cracking the algorithm—it’s reclaiming your sanity, your authentic voice, and the simple joy of sharing your work with people who care.
Maybe that means staying on your current platform but changing how you show up. Maybe it means finding a new digital home entirely. Or maybe it means taking a step back and remembering that your worth isn’t determined your reach. It’s also about having fun! You don’t learn anything being rigid and following a strict formula.
Whatever you choose, make sure it’s actually your choice—not something you’re doing because you think you should.
If it’s overwhelming we are here to set you straight so reach out.
